Now what?

Ok, so now what? I've exhausted my few recent rants and now I just sitting here staring at the measly 4 blogs and wondering if cyberspace'll be better off with somebody more opiniated.

It's odd, the responsibility I feel for filling up this space. Why should there even be responsibility? I created this blog to for the sole purpose of holding the thoughts I knew would be off no use outside in the real world,  using the Web like a easy-to-access personal journal. I knew that no one could possible chance upon it through a search on Google. Unless I published the fact - which I haven't yet.

 

I knew that there would be no eager audience nor did I think I would ever have one - I write this, speak this, really, into a space that is expectedly empty and unresponsive. Such is the nature of the Web - providing a platform, not necessarily a stage, for people to express themselves. Is it not ironic then that I begin to wonder if my bloggings are considered valid without the equal-and-opposite-reaction of an audience.

 

I've seen some blogs - charting each day, hour, minute of the blogger's life like a diary that's open for all to see. I suppose that's alright if you are able to consistently wrangle quirky anecdotes and deep profound insights out of everyday experiences. I use to write my life once. I sent out mass mails with a few KBs of personal worries, wonders, life experiences etc. Now I've stopped cuz I realised how embarrassing it was. Not that embarrassing things happened to me, but thinking that my comings and goings might be of interest to others? Now that's embarrassing.

 

No, I do not consider this an open book into Fern-chan's life. If anything I view this blog as a kind of omnipresent friend - someone to whom I can turn to whenever I need to get something off my chest. Now, I have began to wonder if this friend of mine deserves something better.

 

(In this my moment of lucidity I find it even more glaringly ironic that I wonder about my lack of audience to - who else? - but the exact same audience I'm saying I don't have. For all it's worth I might as well have this conversation with my self in my own time, in my own head.)

 

Is a blog a blog without readers? Or is merely a self-indulgent exercise for people enamoured with their own invisible voices?